Week 5 Recap
Week 5 LINES have been released!
What an eventful week in the Teaser League world. For those who are new or need a reminder, here is a comparison of the numbers from last year's winnings after 5 weeks to this year's:
Week 1 - 2025 $120.00 // 2026 $920.00 (+$800.00)
Week 2 - 2025 $360.00 // 2026 $552.00 (+$192.00)
Week 3 - 2025 $320.00 // 2026 $483.00 (+$163.00)
Week 4 - 2025 $200.00 // 2026 $92.00 (-$108.00)
Week 5 - 2025 $200.00 // 2026 $874.00 (+$674.00)
After five weeks, the 2026 earnings are $1,721.00 more than in 2025. The more significant figure is the penalty pot. Last season, the penalty pot was disappointing. In 2025, it was only $1,500.00 after five weeks! Currently, it's at $5,400.00! That's incredible, but that's how it ought to be. The penalty pot should be substantial.
One Certainty in the Teaser World
There is one certainty in the Teaser World: Dak Prescott and the Dallas Cowboys will ruin your week at least once. It's bound to happen. It's always against a team they should defeat, without fail. They break your heart, stomp on it, and then walk away.
I thought I had the perfect back-to-back double dip with TNFDD. As the game progressed, I realized what was unfolding... I was about to get Dak'ed. I could sense it, I watched it develop, and it was excruciating to witness. On the interception at the end, the ball was tipped and seemed to hang in the air for what felt like five minutes. That one was painful, and I'm still not over it.
MidOcean
This week's question was "Who is MidOcean?" He has unveiled himself and caught the attention of the Teaser World. Not only is he ranked #1 in the Teaser World, but he is also among the final three in Survivor. No one has ever achieved both ... no one has ever claimed the Double Dip Crown.
His selections are almost audacious, almost as if they're teasing us. Bucs? Chargers? Two teams that are quite risky to choose. Eagles? They're somewhat in disarray. It's as if he knows something we don't. Keep an eye on Colin K., also known as "MidOcean"; he might just dominate this year.
Lincoln Park Landslide
The situation in Kyle G's camp is almost unprecedented. In fact, it is unprecedented. I'm fairly certain this has never happened before. After 5 weeks, he stands at 1-4, which is not unusual. However, what's unprecedented is that 3 of those 4 losses have dipped into the penalty pot. He's lost an additional $600.00 over 3 weeks of losses, which is hard to accept. For someone who usually understands the board well, he's currently in a complete downward spiral. His sole win of the season was a $92.00 week—ouch. He must turn things around this week. He has no other option. He's cornered, like a wounded dog, and as they say, the most dangerous thing in the world is a wounded dog.
Epstein Watch
We are asking for additional security for Jimmy O. at the moment. I won't elaborate much because I don't want to discourage him, but we need Jimmy O. to secure a victory this week. I'm cheering for you, Jimmy, and I hope to see you turn this season around. Please do us a favor: find a local church, go in, kneel down, and say 10 Hail Marys. Go to confession, admit some past actions, and you will be forgiven. We need you to cleanse your soul before Sunday.
Possible Epstein Watch Alert
We have an emotional support team nearing a critical point. Berkley & Dominic are currently in a downward spiral, not quite as severe as Kyle G & Jimmy O, but another week of losses could push them to the edge.
Last season, they finished tied for 1st place, and Berkley also won the spin-off league, The Vampire, in the Teaser League. They entered this season with confidence. However, the Teaser Gods can bring you back down to earth. They've experienced this humbling. Now, it's time to regroup and start winning again.
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